Autism Volunteers – working mothers – every time you turn around someone is asking for our time. Lately, I have heard about schools and “volunteering.” We have all been there. Private schools, public schools, charter schools, special schools. It really doesn’t matter, does it? It’s like the Sopranos of the PTA. As a parent of 3 kids with autism, balancing work and family is interesting, to say the least. Ask any parent of a kid with autism. It’s not like I’m unusual. You have to take more time off for things like IEP meetings that go on for 4 hours, or occupational, physical or speech therapy assessments. Behavioral agencies require your participation for Applied Behavioral Analysis therapy or Adaptive Skills therapy, anywhere from 10 – 30+ hours a week, depending on your child’s needs. On top of whatever job you can manage to have.
This brings me to my pet peeve. People that want me to feel sorry for them.
I have to say, I have heard so many working moms complaining about having to volunteer for typical kids. Most parents of kids with autism either have to seriously juggle their job, or get kicked to the curb by a boss that really doesn’t care about your family commitments. I’m kind of over that. These moms that pay tens of thousands of dollars for a swanky private school, then pay a nanny to raise their kid, then pay someone to do their volunteer work at their kids’ school. That’s nearly $100,000 EXTRA dollars a year – if you only have ONE kid – beyond paying for your cool house and cars. I don’t ask you to apologize for your success. Hey, I’m sure you worked for it, and I’m striving for that as well, as are most. It is, after all, the American Dream. But you’re seriously asking me to feel sorry for you? On what planet? I get it, in Los Angeles, making only $100K a year is squeaking by in most areas. I should know, I live here.
I certainly don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for me. Everyone has problems. Rich, poor, or autistic people aren’t that far apart. The type of problem varies, not whether or not you have them. I have some rich people problems – there are people that work for me. I have the indulgence of a cleaning lady that saves my sanity and keeps our family from doing laundry all weekend, so we can spend the time together.
I had to give up a “regular” nine-to-five job. And I’m extraordinarily lucky. I have a husband that shares the workload with me, as well as the volunteer time with our kids. And each other. To you single moms and dads, I salute you. I know how hard it is. I don’t know how I do it, so I really don’t know how you do!
And let’s face it, school is not the only volunteer option. There are a few moms that live for being the school mom. I agree with the mom that said she’s rather stick a fork in her eye than have board meetings at the school discussing juice options. So, since our kids are spread out in different schools the last several years, we do it in other ways. I’m a Girl Scout leader, and our son is in Boy Scouts. They get a lot from a community service organization that exposes them to kids from all over the place, not just our school. Don’t get me wrong, though. I still bake for cake walks, donate for food and book drives, planted a garden and wielded a rake at school for clean up day, and did time at a booth for a festival. Have done the same for church, too.
What do you do, volunteer-wise, for your kids?
If you’re looking to volunteer, here are some sites to help.
AutismSpeaks.org volunteer page
Loved your book. I volunteer as secretary for our school’s PTA. It involves fundraising, meetings etc. I also work part time as a substitute teacher. That’s in addition to IEP meetings, therapy evals and social skills groups for my son.